Why I haven't come out of the closet. (No, not that closet.)
It ain't a bad life - If you can tolerate it
In reality, its quite complex; and it's not always easy to recall the exact sequence of thought processes from several years ago, but here goes.
The truth of the matter is that my public display of religiosity is a combination of three major factors.
1) As Daganev points out, I don't want to rock the boat. I've got a whole life built around Orthodox society, so why change it? But there's a little more to it.
2) Crucial to keeping the status quo, is that I'm more than complacent in that status quo. I'm really happy with most of it.
Think about it; supposedly, most "at risk kids" are that way because of problems in school or family. They don't usually make a reasoned decision that Judaism is false because of Theological reasons; it's just that they don't in one way or another fit in. So they leave to find greener pastures.
On the contrary, I fit in very well, socially, scholastically, emotionally and every other possible way, except for intellectually.
My family life, kids, shul, friends, learning (yes learning), shabbos schedule, interaction with my Gentile co-workers as a God fearing individual, is all by now a deep ingrained way of life. These are not just tolerable. They provide for a major source of satisfaction. Tossing that for some unknown, at my age, is really risky.
Let's put it this way, if I had to find a new community for whatever reason, I'd probably opt for very similar community to the one I'm coming from.
There is definitly sacrifice here. Kosher is a pain, Shabbos can be a pain, Rabbi's are a pain, etc. Davening is a super pain. But there's reward to most of it.
Now before I get to the third major factor there are some minor ones. Among them is a serious character flaw that I have - I care way too much about what people think of me. Another related issue is not wanting to "let down" certain family members. I'm not talking about embarressment that they'd go thru, just simply letting them down of expectations they have of me. It's very similar to me looking for their approval, but not quite.
3) No for the grand finale . I know that OJ is a long chain of mis-steps upon mis-steps. After so many years, and in retrospect this is somewhat of a shock to me, I'm still very much observant even in private.
So why would I come out in public as not religious?