Honor Thy Father & Mother

I can't tell you how many times I've participated in a conversation such as the following:

BHB: So what does your son/son-in-law do?
Other: He's a Rebbe/fund raiser/still
learning/Tutoring/Learning/Shteiging.
BHB: Are you happy with that?
Other: Not really/Not at all. I really wanted him to be a lawyer/accountant/doctor but this is what he wants to do.

Notice the Bnei Torah have no compunction in ignoring their parents wishes.

Now of course, I understand. Even from a secular perspective everyone can and should do what he or she pleases and a person shouldn't live their lives to fill their parents dreams or desires. And of course from a religious perspective there are a host of other reasons, such as Divrei Harav V'divrei Hatalmud, etc.

But what I've noticed is the Bnei Torah don't seem to even care that they're letting their parent's down.


But note the irony in this. I can't tell you how many times I've heard from Skeptics or about Skeptics, how difficult it is for them to break the news to their parents that they no longer believe. I don't recall the details clearly, but IIRC I've heard about one skeptic who plans on marrying a shiksa but intends to tell the girl he has no parents, just so that he won't bring her to his parents and they won't know he's marring outside the faith. Now, I happen to think that's a bit crazy. OK, even alot crazy. But Wow. THAT's what I call respect for and not desiring to hurt your parents. Even though it might be inevitable, almost every single skeptic who comes out of the closet has parental feelings as one of his primary concerns.

So who has real Kibud Av V'em? The Bnei Torah or the Skeptics?

And of course, that's just another manifestation of the problem with the Torah and even Torah Morality. It's really only lip-service to morality.

Because, even in morality issues, the Torah doesn't mean what it says. It means what the Rabbis want it to mean.