12 August 2006

Orthoprax at home

So why does a non-believer like me stay frum - even in the privacy of my home.

Sorry, it's quiz time again. But now we get some answers in the same post.

I work for the Jewish Morals society and I'm trying to infiltrate the Kofrim so I can "out" them.
Even though OJ is a sham, God put me in an OJ environment and wants me to be Frum.
I'm afraid of change.
I'm afraid of Lakewood Yid.
Make up a good reason for me. Your's might be as good as mine.


There are some major reasons and some finer points. Here's the biggie.

I touched upon this in a slightly different context. See, Chazal were very smart. They, possibly unknowingly, implanted in me a level of doubt that took me many years to get over.

"Lo Uvdo Avodah Zarah Ela L'hatir Lahem Arayos"

Every school child asks the same question, and it's a great one! How can God punish me for serving other Gods if I really believe in another God?

And the answer is brilliant, for the most part.

I really don't believe in the other God, it's just that the other God is not as strict as Yahweh and will let me sleep around. So I delude myself into thinking Baal is the real thing. But really I know. Chazal pre-empted the intellectual excuse for leaving Juadaism.

As a fresh apostate, my hands were really tied.

Maybe I found this new science just so I can leave religion. In other words, unknowingly, I was pre-empting Jewish Philosopher. He accused me of deciding against OJ for emotional reasons, to follow my Taavos. And I, as a nice ehrlicha Baal Habos, was actually thinking along the same lines.

I stayed Frum, afraid to trust my own judgement.


Want to know how wacked out/Frum out I was? (is that a word? wacked out? maybe it's whacked out.)

I was so frum, that a short while later, I stopped learning. Huh? Frum? Yes, I stopped learning. Because, I don't remember where it says, "Oros Shebah machzirin L'mutov". The light in Torah returns one to Hashem. But that's as long as one is not learning L'kantair. As long as you're not learning to find find fault with Torah. And I was. Ever since my switch, everything I learnt was to ask a Kashia, critical and looking for problems.

My life was an emotional roller coaster.


To be continued.....


Comments not necessary till conclusion of Post (unless you insist).

Shabbat Shalom.

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    14 Comments:

    At August 18, 2006 1:54 PM, Blogger Irviner Chasid said...

    Very nice and deep.. but yet again, you didn't give me a choice to answer! I hate it when the answer is always, none of the above.

    One thing I have allways found good about any organized religion, no matter how "wrong" it is, is that it is anti-avodah zarah.

    The whole point of an organized religion, is that you have some source, outside yoruself, which you must submit to, to keep you on some level of humbleness. That is why I don't even mind those "athiests" who give themselves over completely to science. But I do have a problem with the people who give themselves over to science, but also define science. Such as some academic professors I've met.

     
    At August 18, 2006 4:26 PM, Blogger Baal Habos said...

    Irviner, thanks.

    Usually the choices in my quizes are intended to be humorous. I guess it's not always apparent.

    Shabbat Shalom.

     
    At August 18, 2006 4:46 PM, Blogger Irviner Chasid said...

    Oh, they are indeed humours.

    A suggestion for what you could have put here is :

    I'm not lazy

    or

    Avodah zarah made me do it.

    I still would have chosen none of the above if those options were there, but atleast this time I would be wrong!

     
    At August 19, 2006 9:43 PM, Blogger happywithhislot said...

    bhb
    as an orthoprax, does your lack of belief extend to your wife and kids.
    What i mean is, do you ask your kids to say modeh ani or bentch?

    as for your wife, if she did something wrong on shabbos, or maybe she hands you something during days of niddah, do you keep up the frum pretense or let it go?

    so basically, are you orthoprax for yourself, or do you extend it to entire family with same "ernst" as before?

     
    At August 19, 2006 10:28 PM, Blogger Avi said...

    The answer is a simple one. You started to think for yourself. Judaism frowns upon thinking. It wants you to follow it, just as you were taught. Just remember one thing. There are millions of people who believe in voodoo magic also.

     
    At August 19, 2006 11:35 PM, Blogger Baal Habos said...

    Happy, I'll get around to family in some future posts.

     
    At August 20, 2006 12:48 AM, Blogger Irviner Chasid said...

    >The answer is a simple one. You started to think for yourself. Judaism frowns upon thinking. It wants you to follow it, just as you were taught. Just remember one thing. There are millions of people who believe in voodoo magic also.

    I don't think people realize how insulting, and how intelectualy dishonest they are when they say things like this.

    The same could be said about people who go to school and learn secular studies. Or who believe anything they ever read in any book that they themselves did not reasearch.

     
    At August 20, 2006 12:51 AM, Blogger Irviner Chasid said...

    Incendently I was just readin about Acher in Chagiga, and read this thing about good and evil vis a vi the tree of life vs the tree of knowledge...

    I'll try to come up with something in my blog when I can get all the thoughts together.

     
    At August 21, 2006 11:30 PM, Blogger Moshe Kappoya said...

    I pick I work for the Jewish Morals society and I'm trying to infiltrate the Kofrim so I can "out" them.
    That's the only logical explanation. Your "logic" gets more and more twisted, I can't keep up. I think your just trying to make all our heads spin so that the "kofrim" will go "straight" without even realizing it!
    The simple life, think about it. No questions, no deep musings, no Excedrin size headaches.

    Na!, your too smart for that.

     
    At August 22, 2006 8:53 AM, Blogger jewish philosopher said...

    "Emotional roller coaster" sounds hormonal. Could it be mid life crisis?

     
    At August 22, 2006 9:17 AM, Blogger Baal Habos said...

    > The simple life, think about it. No questions, no deep musings, no Excedrin size headaches.

    MK, exactly, thats my sub-title, ignorance is bliss.

    > Emotional roller coaster" sounds hormonal. Could it be mid life crisis?

    JP, sure. My epiphany caused a mid-life crisis. but it was definitely not the other way around.

     
    At August 22, 2006 9:28 PM, Blogger lakewoodyid said...

    >I'm afraid of Lakewood Yid.

    LOL

    Maybe instead of laughing, I should exercise my powers on you....

     
    At September 02, 2006 6:30 PM, Blogger Bishrirus Libi said...

    If Maslow were to be a blogger here, he surely would have included "Family institution" in the bottom bar of his hierarchy of needs, whereas extended family/ friends/ community on the very next level. As it is, we are all stuck on level three…

    Obviously he was preaching to FREE SOCIETY.

    With the absence of that; I cant say I am on about Negel Vasser every morning, but I would have to exhibit a broadly conformist demeanour.

    BHB; at which stage of life did you “Stay froom”? At that point was there a viable ulternative?

     
    At September 02, 2006 11:56 PM, Blogger Baal Habos said...

    Bshrirus Libi, Welcome. I got an Email saying you posted and it too me ten minutes to find which post you commenetd on. Hmm a problem with the notification system.

    Are you asking how old I was when I saw the light? The answer is way to old to make changes, I had a grown child off to Israel already.

    I love your name. and the timing of your post shows you mean it. Unless you're posting from Israel.

     

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